Never

wow here come the April month :*

more nearer to PMR *cries

I'd be lying if I say it wasn't hurt. I'd be lying if I say I wasn't care. Oh yeah, I'd be lying if all what I said is true. Nonsense crap. Hypocrite . I'd be a total liar. I have a feeling too, but the way they treating me oh such only god knows it. They treated me like I am an ordinary people who born with no feelings, and I just accepted the fact that I was so stupid and just laughing at their jokes*though it not so funny not knowing that they are laughing at my weak point.

How I realised that I was too naive. I need to be much stronger. I need to be more tougher. And, okay this is so bad. I just knew that people are not laughing with my jokes, they are laughing at my weakness. How shame . 

I am so typical. I cry when people talked too bad things with me. I cry when I am so weak . I cry when people are ignoring me. I started to push away people who are trying to comfort me. I hate them to see me crying. And I can't to trust people much more. after all. I'd told them about some of my secret, and they are making joke with that. They also pointed out with my weakness. And I just stood there, trying not to cry. How stupid damn you are, guys.

After all, this post are nonsense. This is what I feel. Even if I write, no one would ever understand. Okey admit that, people just want to know secret to destroy others, not to help others. Wow my words are so butthurt . Sorry peeps, don't blame it on me. 

Typical life I am. I felt that my family just ignored me. And by now I just love being alone. Doing all my work and make them done. I don't like when people come around my house. I just hate noise. It's amazing when you realized that you are alone and you wrote how you feel and you cried and you done and you acted like nothing shit happened. And I just been tortured by mental with my friends. They laugh at my weakness and making joke with it and make me feel so stupid. And I went back home and I locked myself in a room and I cried. 

I'm just tired with all this stupid thing. It is not easy to find someone who can understand inside and outside and what I am going through now. I just going to take my PMR this year and I can't focus because some of my personal problems that I have to think of. It too much to handle and gonna feel that my head is going to explode. But I'll live with it, I'll survive.

I'll take everything.

4.30 p.m.

Friday the 6th , April.